No, I didn’t see dozens of whales. In fact, I only saw two because by the time they were going crazy with the sightings, I was happily resting inside the ship.

Whale-sighting protocol requires that the guide start desperately screaming a direction, like “6 O’CLOCK, 6 O’CLOCK,” to indicate the whale’s position. Then everyone runs to that side of the vessel to see the whale. First time I heard this, I thought, “ok, I’ll do like the natives.” I start running down a metal staircase on the soaked ship and, of course, I trip. No legs broken, only bruised pride.

Anyway, we stopped briefly in Tadoussac, which looked quaint. And we traversed the Fjord Saguenay, which was pretty cool. Ahh, I almost feel like a francophone with all these pronunciations that require me to pucker up. The brochure tells me I’ve just “experience urbaine ou nature des plus enrichessants...” Magnifique!

Ok, ok, I’ll play nice.

But the trip WAS great. Far better than I could have expected. And, admittedly, I didn’t expect much from this northern outing. The Fjord was impressive, the countryside gave me a whole new view of Canada, and I had a Tortiere (meat pie, or, back in POA, a pastelao) which was not bad.

The ship itself was very nice. I’m not sure if I should call it a boat or a ship, so I’ll stick with making a good impression. Ship. It was obviously designed for tourists, with three levels of decks and a bar. And to celebrate the liberal alcohol laws of Quebec, I had a glass of wine.

Adventure Option B would have been to take the same tour in a Zodiak, which in case you don’t know, is an inflatable raft holding about twenty people. Elaborating, the Zodiak tour gets you: three hours on the river, in the rain (I didn’t say?), in the cold (about 10 degrees) and without a washroom. In fact, you have to remain seated at all times. I’ll take comfort for $5 less please.

I’m sitting in the minivan right now on the road to Montreal, where I’ll spend the last leg of my incredible journey. To the sound of Metrics, eating a sub, drinking water with a French label. Le Montclair, Ozonisee!

My epic dinner tale in QC had a happy ending. We took a carriage tour guide's advice and went to the chique Charbon (that's “coal” in French, knucklehead). I had a steak with caramelized vegetables. Nifty.